The No. 1 Secret to the Female Orgasm

It was once assumed that women didn't have orgasms, or at least that they were very different from what men experienced. Thankfully, nowadays we know that women have all the equipment required to produce sexual pleasure - and that there's nothing wrong with enjoying it. Still, most statistics estimate that about 30 percent of women have trouble achieving orgasm.

Whether you're a woman who's diving into improving your sexual experiences, or you're a guy who's wondering why your lady isn't getting off as often as you'd like, you're probably looking for the big secret to female pleasure. That's a great start, but the answer goes deeper than you might expect ...

The Hidden Workings of the Female Orgasm read on...

Darwin Was Wrong About Dating

A COUPLE of evolutionary psychologists recently published a book about human sexual behavior in prehistory called “Sex at Dawn.” Upon hearing of the project, one colleague, dubious that a modern scholar could hope to know anything about that period, asked them, “So what do you do, close your eyes and dream?”

Actually, it’s a little more involved. Evolutionary psychologists who study mating behavior often begin with a hypothesis about how modern humans mate: say, that men think about sex more than women do. Then they gather evidence — from studies, statistics and surveys — to support that assumption. Finally, and here’s where the leap occurs, they construct an evolutionary theory to explain why men think about sex more than women, where that gender difference came from, what adaptive purpose it served in antiquity, and why we’re stuck with the consequences today.

Lately, however, a new cohort of scientists have been challenging the very existence of the gender differences in sexual behavior that Darwinians have spent the past 40 years trying to explain and justify on evolutionary grounds.

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The End of Courtship?

MAYBE it was because they had met on OkCupid. But when the dark-eyed musician with artfully disheveled hair asked Shani Silver, a social media and blog manager in Philadelphia, out on a “date” Friday night, she was expecting at least a drink, one on one.

“At 10 p.m., I hadn’t heard from him,” said Ms. Silver, 30, who wore her favorite skinny black jeans. Finally, at 10:30, he sent a text message. “Hey, I’m at Pub & Kitchen, want to meet up for a drink or whatever?” he wrote, before adding, “I’m here with a bunch of friends from college.”

Turned off, she fired back a text message, politely declining. But in retrospect, she might have adjusted her expectations. “The word ‘date’ should almost be stricken from the dictionary,” Ms. Silver said. “Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.”

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Sexless Marriage: When Sex Ends at 'I Do'

How do you define a sexless marriage? Are you living in one, or do you think you are?

In 2003, Newsweek noted that 15% to 20% of couples have sex less than 10 times a year, which is defined as a "sexless" marriage. I recently read that an estimated 15% of marriages become sexless, and making love less than 10 times per year can be the norm for some couples.

I have to wonder though, is it really the "norm" for couples or is one spouse limiting intimate interaction due to their own lack of interest in sex or for some other reason? When one spouse conforms to the sexual standards of the other spouse and the marriage becomes sexless, can it still be called a marriage?

In most situations, the sexual satisfaction in marriage is a measure of the entire relationship. If a once satisfying sex life becomes one in which sex is infrequent or absent, then more than likely there are other aspects of the relationship that a spouse is finding unsatisfying.

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