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All that testosterone drives the "Man Trance"-- that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. As a woman who was among the ranks of the early feminists, I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods.
To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he's dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain's attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we're still fuming, he's deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, "What's wrong?" We say, "Nothing." He shrugs and turns on the TV. We smolder and fear that he'll leave us for another woman.
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Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Big Dating Myths — And Surprising Truths
MYTH: When you're prepping to go out on the prowl, put on a barely there outfit — men like women who show lots and lots of skin.
TRUTH: A new study published in the journal Behaviour found that, to reel in the boys, the ideal amount of flesh you should reveal is 40 percent. A crop top and mini crosses the line from seductive to skanky.
MYTH: If you're into a guy, make the first move on him.
TRUTH: Smile at him, but then wait for him to come to you. A Northwestern University study discovered that the person who does the approaching usually ends up falling harder.
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TRUTH: A new study published in the journal Behaviour found that, to reel in the boys, the ideal amount of flesh you should reveal is 40 percent. A crop top and mini crosses the line from seductive to skanky.
MYTH: If you're into a guy, make the first move on him.
TRUTH: Smile at him, but then wait for him to come to you. A Northwestern University study discovered that the person who does the approaching usually ends up falling harder.
Read more
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
Renovate your relationships
Phillips helps married, divorced and single men and women understand the mysteries of relationships. Here are a few of his tips for finding and succeeding in your relationship in the new year.
• Happy follows healthy. Focus on your strengths and what you do well, and a healthy, committed relationship will follow.
• The media tells men they need to be with a beautiful woman. The media tells women they need to be beautiful to get a good man. People need to tap into who they are in reality, and focus on what their values are. Pick a person based on what you want, not what the media told you to want.
• Romance isn't about feeling. It's about connection. There's nothing sexier than a real connection with someone.
• Singles who are looking for a healthy relationship need to connect with their values first to find a match. What is your "value fingerprint?" What is important to you?
• Learn how to receive a loving gesture. Say thank you. Then the joy of love becomes the purpose of the relationship.
• Everyone wants to be loved and respected. Avoid "gender boxing," where you think you should act or feel a certain way because you are a man or a woman. There are as many men who want to cry at a movie as there are women who want to burp at a football game.
• Have confidence in yourself no matter what your relationship situation. If you model healthy behavior, people will take notice.
• Establish healthy friendships. Surround yourself with people who share the same values. Judgement happens when you're trying to make else's values match yours. Be an individual and have faith in your own beliefs.
Article
Friday, November 13, 2009
One Night Stands - Your place or mine?
Society has changed tremendously over the years and and has now nothing to do with the time of our grandparents and great grandparents. Whereas 80 years ago everybody thought that the women would become pregnant after having looked deeply into a man’s eyes, nowadays everyone, young or adult, are real experts regarding sex, and they enjoy total sexual freedom. What before meant a commitment for the rest of your life, has today turned into a one-night stand. So, commitment or a one-night stand, what do you prefer?
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Thursday, October 12, 2006
Skype is helping folks make love connections
Skype and similar services that allow free phone calls over the Internet are fostering "love connections between Belgians and Japanese, Germans and Israelis, Americans and Egyptians and even a Guatemalan nail technician and a Canadian member of the Raelians, a group that advocates human cloning," The Los Angeles Times writes today.
According to the Times, singles around the world who've found each other on the web are now talking to each other on Skype -- and some are falling in love.
It spotlights the blooming love affair of newlyweds Mark Passerby and Salwa Al-Saban. He lives in Lansing, Mich. She was living in Cairo when they discovered each other and started talking thanks to Skype. Last November, they got married and they're now living together in Lansing.
"Everyone around us thinks we're crazy," Salwa, 25, told the Times. "But it is much more perfect than anything I could have ever wanted."
David Finlay, co-owner of someonenew.com, a 14,000-member dating site, is a fan of the free phone programs. He tells the Times that by using Skype, singles can figure out with a phone call or two if they're compatible -- rather than spending a long time trading e-mails.
Comments
According to the Times, singles around the world who've found each other on the web are now talking to each other on Skype -- and some are falling in love.
It spotlights the blooming love affair of newlyweds Mark Passerby and Salwa Al-Saban. He lives in Lansing, Mich. She was living in Cairo when they discovered each other and started talking thanks to Skype. Last November, they got married and they're now living together in Lansing.
"Everyone around us thinks we're crazy," Salwa, 25, told the Times. "But it is much more perfect than anything I could have ever wanted."
David Finlay, co-owner of someonenew.com, a 14,000-member dating site, is a fan of the free phone programs. He tells the Times that by using Skype, singles can figure out with a phone call or two if they're compatible -- rather than spending a long time trading e-mails.
Comments
Monday, August 21, 2006
Managing jealousy
An exercise to help you become aware of your own jealous tendancies and to take action before it's too late. Written by relationship psychotherapist Paula Hall.
Click here...
Click here...
A scientific look inside the female mind
The following is an excerpt from the article.
In her new book, "The Female Brain," Brizendine says that women are better than men at remembering the details of emotional events because their brains are structurally and chemically different. This is not essentialist malarkey; scientists have studied living, thinking female (and male) brains with PET and MRI scans. Simply put, the hippocampus -- site of emotions and memory formation -- is larger in women, as are the brain areas for language. Men, on the other hand, have larger brain centers for action and aggression. (They also have 2 1/2 times the brain space devoted to the sexual drive, according to Brizendine.) Much of these variances start in utero, during the eighth week of pregnancy, when the then-female brain will either receive a testosterone surge or not. The screenwriters of "Click," then, weren't so far off the mark.
Full article is here.
In her new book, "The Female Brain," Brizendine says that women are better than men at remembering the details of emotional events because their brains are structurally and chemically different. This is not essentialist malarkey; scientists have studied living, thinking female (and male) brains with PET and MRI scans. Simply put, the hippocampus -- site of emotions and memory formation -- is larger in women, as are the brain areas for language. Men, on the other hand, have larger brain centers for action and aggression. (They also have 2 1/2 times the brain space devoted to the sexual drive, according to Brizendine.) Much of these variances start in utero, during the eighth week of pregnancy, when the then-female brain will either receive a testosterone surge or not. The screenwriters of "Click," then, weren't so far off the mark.
Full article is here.
Eva Longoria: long distance relationships are sexy
Eva Longoria believes having an essentially long distance relationship with boyfriend Tony Parker makes them appreciate the time they do spend together.
She said recently: “It’s like being in a long distance relationship except we make it a point to spend almost every weekend together.”
“And when we’re together, we’re always so glad to see each other that we never waste any time arguing or worrying about stupid things like you do if you’re constantly at home with someone and things become routine.”
“This way I get to travel a lot to wherever he’s on the road or getting to visit his family in France. It’s a very sexy kind of thing to be with someone who’s on the road like Tony.”
“You develop this tremendous sense of anticipation and longing for the other person because you’re forced to spend a lot of time apart.”
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