Sunday, November 16, 2014
It's me
I just discovered Spotify has some very sweet and romantic music for you and your honey. Just a tip.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
The Best Advice For Moving On When Your Ex Left You For Someone Else
The only thing harder than getting through the emotional roller coaster that is divorce? Getting through it when you know your ex has moved on with someone new.
Below, HuffPost Divorce readers share their best advice for moving on when your ex has left you for someone else.
1. "Take it one day at a time. Know that there was nothing you could have done differently. They made the choice to leave you for someone else."
2. "Whatever you do, don't try to get your ex back. Just leave them alone. And for the love of all that's good and holy, do not poke around their Facebook page. It's self-inflicted torture. Give yourself time to feel your way through everything. It is hard at first, but take it from me -- it gets better."
3. "Don't cave into the pressure to let go and move on. The hardest thing for people on the outside to understand is that there is no timeline for getting through this."
4. "First, don't go after the other woman or man -- they didn't make the oath to you. Anger and frustration can fester and in the end it only hurts you. Find an outlet and get those feelings out. You didn't cheat, your ex did. Mourn the loss of him and your marriage, then go forward. You have to do this alone for a while, so hold off on that new relationship."
5. "This too shall pass. No one ever dies from a divorce."
Read the rest
Below, HuffPost Divorce readers share their best advice for moving on when your ex has left you for someone else.
1. "Take it one day at a time. Know that there was nothing you could have done differently. They made the choice to leave you for someone else."
2. "Whatever you do, don't try to get your ex back. Just leave them alone. And for the love of all that's good and holy, do not poke around their Facebook page. It's self-inflicted torture. Give yourself time to feel your way through everything. It is hard at first, but take it from me -- it gets better."
3. "Don't cave into the pressure to let go and move on. The hardest thing for people on the outside to understand is that there is no timeline for getting through this."
4. "First, don't go after the other woman or man -- they didn't make the oath to you. Anger and frustration can fester and in the end it only hurts you. Find an outlet and get those feelings out. You didn't cheat, your ex did. Mourn the loss of him and your marriage, then go forward. You have to do this alone for a while, so hold off on that new relationship."
5. "This too shall pass. No one ever dies from a divorce."
Read the rest
There's An Online Dating 'Tipping Point,' According To A New Study
The rules of dating are not simple and finite -- they're complicated and constantly changing, especially when you factor in online dating. Now, a new study has unearthed yet another thing you could be getting wrong: Online daters can doom themselves to disappointment if they wait too long to meet prospective partners in person.
A new study published recently in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication describes an online dating "tipping point," when too much online communication before a first date causes a person to idealize someone they're interacting with prior to actually meeting them face to face. This, naturally, leads to a letdown upon meeting someone who doesn't match lofty expectations. That "tipping point" occurs after 17 to 23 days, according to the researchers, so you don't want to wait longer than that to pencil in a get-together.
Read more
A new study published recently in the Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication describes an online dating "tipping point," when too much online communication before a first date causes a person to idealize someone they're interacting with prior to actually meeting them face to face. This, naturally, leads to a letdown upon meeting someone who doesn't match lofty expectations. That "tipping point" occurs after 17 to 23 days, according to the researchers, so you don't want to wait longer than that to pencil in a get-together.
Read more
Sunday, January 19, 2014
"10 Habits of Happy Couples"
inventurer:
Source connotativewords:
"10 Habits of Happy Couples"
1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.
2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
(via
TumbleOn
)
Source connotativewords:
"10 Habits of Happy Couples"
1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps. And when their skins touch it still causes each of them to tingle and unless one or both are completely exhausted to feel sexually excited.
2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.
7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.
8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.
9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
(via
TumbleOn
)
Sunday, November 24, 2013
This Map Shows The Average Marrying Age Around The World
The map, which uses data provided by the United Nations, shows the average age -- by country -- at which people get hitched.
"The biggest differentiator of marriage age seems to be a country's income, with people in developed countries marrying later," writes the price comparison website of the data. "Nordic countries and Western Europe rank among the highest for mean age at marriage at above 30 years. Afghanistan has one of the lowest at 20.2 years."
In the United States, the average marrying age for women is 26.9 and for men it's 29.8, per a 2011 report by the Pew Research Center.
Click here
"The biggest differentiator of marriage age seems to be a country's income, with people in developed countries marrying later," writes the price comparison website of the data. "Nordic countries and Western Europe rank among the highest for mean age at marriage at above 30 years. Afghanistan has one of the lowest at 20.2 years."
In the United States, the average marrying age for women is 26.9 and for men it's 29.8, per a 2011 report by the Pew Research Center.
Click here
Sunday, October 06, 2013
WATCH: Can You Feel Love and Lust for the Same Person?
Allow me to ask you a different set of questions I attempt to address in my TEDTalk, to help tease out the nature of erotic desire and its accompanying conundrums:
- Why does good sex so often fade, even in couples who continue to love each other as much as ever?
- Why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex?
- Can we want what we already have?
- Why does the transition to parenthood so often deliver a fatal erotic blow to the couple?
- And why is the forbidden so erotic?
- When you love, how do you feel, and when you desire, how is it different?
Read article
- Why does good sex so often fade, even in couples who continue to love each other as much as ever?
- Why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex?
- Can we want what we already have?
- Why does the transition to parenthood so often deliver a fatal erotic blow to the couple?
- And why is the forbidden so erotic?
- When you love, how do you feel, and when you desire, how is it different?
Read article
Saturday, September 07, 2013
12 Habits of a Happy relationship
#12 Settle disputes peacefully
When you feel anger, avoid saying or yelling words you can't take back, instead have a planned agreement that you each will back away.
Click here for the rest
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Nobody knew how the clitoris really worked until four years ago
The clitoris. For thousands of years, humans (some of them, anyway) have known that you can give pleasure to its owner if you play with it in the right way. But it wasn't until 2009 that science understood how it actually worked. Discover... the Mystery of the Clit!
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Thursday, May 30, 2013
Dating Tips: Why You Should Consider Dating A Divorced Man
A recent study conducted by the UK's Marriage Foundation revealed a surprising statistic: although 45 percent of marriages end in divorce, only 31 percent of second marriages fail. This got me thinking. As a 30-something, single gal looking to settle down, perhaps I have been searching down the wrong path? Maybe the assumption that divorced equals baggage is contradictory to the actual truth of the matter. I pondered this article for quite some time and ultimately decided that perhaps divorced men do, in fact, make better boyfriends. Here's why:
1. He won't want to fail again. Remember the episode of "Friends" when Ross' neurosis hits an all-time high at the prospect of a second (and then a third) divorce? This fear can serve as a strong motivator to get it right the second time around. I would venture to guess that men are more willing to do the work and keep their relationships strong, fulfilling and everlasting.
Read the rest
1. He won't want to fail again. Remember the episode of "Friends" when Ross' neurosis hits an all-time high at the prospect of a second (and then a third) divorce? This fear can serve as a strong motivator to get it right the second time around. I would venture to guess that men are more willing to do the work and keep their relationships strong, fulfilling and everlasting.
Read the rest
Monday, May 27, 2013
Unexcited? There May Be a Pill for That
Linneah sat at a desk at the Center for Sexual Medicine at Sheppard Pratt in the suburbs of Baltimore and filled out a questionnaire. She read briskly, making swift checks beside her selected answers, and when she was finished, she handed the pages across the desk to Martina Miller, who gave her a round of pills.
The pills were either a placebo or a new drug called Lybrido, created to stoke sexual desire in women. Checking her computer, Miller pointed out gently that Linneah hadn’t been doing her duty as a study participant. Over the past eight weeks, she took the tablets before she planned to have sex, and for every time she put a pill on her tongue, she was supposed to make an entry in her online diary about her level of lust.
Read more
The pills were either a placebo or a new drug called Lybrido, created to stoke sexual desire in women. Checking her computer, Miller pointed out gently that Linneah hadn’t been doing her duty as a study participant. Over the past eight weeks, she took the tablets before she planned to have sex, and for every time she put a pill on her tongue, she was supposed to make an entry in her online diary about her level of lust.
Read more
Friday, May 17, 2013
Televangelist Tells Wife Of Cheating Husband To Be Grateful For Marriage, Make Home Enticing
The wife needs to focus on the reasons she married her spouse, he continued.
"Does he provide a home for you to live in," Robertson said. 'Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children... Is he handsome?"
Robertson also offered a little advice on the "tendency of man."
"Recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit," Robertson said. "What you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn't want to wander" or give in to the "salacious" magazine pictures and Internet filled with porn.
Read more, video
"Does he provide a home for you to live in," Robertson said. 'Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children... Is he handsome?"
Robertson also offered a little advice on the "tendency of man."
"Recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit," Robertson said. "What you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn't want to wander" or give in to the "salacious" magazine pictures and Internet filled with porn.
Read more, video
Friday, May 10, 2013
Your Cellphone May Be Ruining Your Dating Life

Going on a blind date? Here's a tip: Don't bring your phone.
The mere presence of a mobile phone can make the meeting between two strangers more stilted, according to new research published in the May issue of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
Cellphones don't disrupt casual conversation much, the study found, but when people were asked to discuss something meaningful, they reported less trust, empathy and lower relationship quality when a cellphone was in the room.
Read more
Sunday, May 05, 2013
Sex Confessions: 13 Women Who Want Sex More Than Their Male Partners Share Their Stories
Contrary to what the Wall Street Journal and countless sitcoms seem to think, there are plenty of women who want sex more than their male partners.
To put the only stereotype of the frigid female to rest -- and to shed light on the dissatisfaction a lot of women feel in their sexual relationships -- we put out a call for stories from women who had been physically involved with a partner who didn't share their sex drive.
The emails poured in. From age 25 to 65, single, in relationships and married, women wrote to us about how they have struggled -- or are still struggling -- with the fact that they want sex more than their partners, often much, much more. We present their stories below not to blame men or women for these issues, but to showcase that sexual frequency is an issue for partners regardless of gender, age or marital status.
Read more
To put the only stereotype of the frigid female to rest -- and to shed light on the dissatisfaction a lot of women feel in their sexual relationships -- we put out a call for stories from women who had been physically involved with a partner who didn't share their sex drive.
The emails poured in. From age 25 to 65, single, in relationships and married, women wrote to us about how they have struggled -- or are still struggling -- with the fact that they want sex more than their partners, often much, much more. We present their stories below not to blame men or women for these issues, but to showcase that sexual frequency is an issue for partners regardless of gender, age or marital status.
Read more
Thursday, April 04, 2013
More Americans are living together before marriage, study finds
Americans are increasingly saying “I do” to living together before marriage, according to a new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. In fact, cohabitation is now more common among younger women than living with a spouse or living alone.
The report, released Thursday, is based on data from the CDC’s National Survey of Family Growth. More than 12,000 women between the ages of 15 and 44 took part in the survey between 2006 and 2010. (So did more than 10,000 men, but the new study focuses on the women.)
Among the women, 48% told interviewers that they were living with their significant other but were not married to them. In 1995, only 35% of women were cohabiting with their partners, according to a previous edition of the survey.
Read more
The report, released Thursday, is based on data from the CDC’s National Survey of Family Growth. More than 12,000 women between the ages of 15 and 44 took part in the survey between 2006 and 2010. (So did more than 10,000 men, but the new study focuses on the women.)
Among the women, 48% told interviewers that they were living with their significant other but were not married to them. In 1995, only 35% of women were cohabiting with their partners, according to a previous edition of the survey.
Read more
Thursday, March 07, 2013
Off-the-Beaten-Path Romance

That’s why I asked 10 concierges in some of my favorite cities what they would recommend to the most discerning of guests for a night of off-the-beaten-path romance — whether it’s Valentine’s Day, a wedding proposal, or simply a much-needed date night.
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Saturday, January 26, 2013
The No. 1 Secret to the Female Orgasm
It was once assumed that women didn't have orgasms, or at least that they were very different from what men experienced. Thankfully, nowadays we know that women have all the equipment required to produce sexual pleasure - and that there's nothing wrong with enjoying it. Still, most statistics estimate that about 30 percent of women have trouble achieving orgasm.
Whether you're a woman who's diving into improving your sexual experiences, or you're a guy who's wondering why your lady isn't getting off as often as you'd like, you're probably looking for the big secret to female pleasure. That's a great start, but the answer goes deeper than you might expect ...
The Hidden Workings of the Female Orgasm read on...
Whether you're a woman who's diving into improving your sexual experiences, or you're a guy who's wondering why your lady isn't getting off as often as you'd like, you're probably looking for the big secret to female pleasure. That's a great start, but the answer goes deeper than you might expect ...
The Hidden Workings of the Female Orgasm read on...
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Darwin Was Wrong About Dating
A COUPLE of evolutionary psychologists recently published a book about human sexual behavior in prehistory called “Sex at Dawn.” Upon hearing of the project, one colleague, dubious that a modern scholar could hope to know anything about that period, asked them, “So what do you do, close your eyes and dream?”
Actually, it’s a little more involved. Evolutionary psychologists who study mating behavior often begin with a hypothesis about how modern humans mate: say, that men think about sex more than women do. Then they gather evidence — from studies, statistics and surveys — to support that assumption. Finally, and here’s where the leap occurs, they construct an evolutionary theory to explain why men think about sex more than women, where that gender difference came from, what adaptive purpose it served in antiquity, and why we’re stuck with the consequences today.
Lately, however, a new cohort of scientists have been challenging the very existence of the gender differences in sexual behavior that Darwinians have spent the past 40 years trying to explain and justify on evolutionary grounds.
Read more
Actually, it’s a little more involved. Evolutionary psychologists who study mating behavior often begin with a hypothesis about how modern humans mate: say, that men think about sex more than women do. Then they gather evidence — from studies, statistics and surveys — to support that assumption. Finally, and here’s where the leap occurs, they construct an evolutionary theory to explain why men think about sex more than women, where that gender difference came from, what adaptive purpose it served in antiquity, and why we’re stuck with the consequences today.
Lately, however, a new cohort of scientists have been challenging the very existence of the gender differences in sexual behavior that Darwinians have spent the past 40 years trying to explain and justify on evolutionary grounds.
Read more
The End of Courtship?
MAYBE it was because they had met on OkCupid. But when the dark-eyed musician with artfully disheveled hair asked Shani Silver, a social media and blog manager in Philadelphia, out on a “date” Friday night, she was expecting at least a drink, one on one.
“At 10 p.m., I hadn’t heard from him,” said Ms. Silver, 30, who wore her favorite skinny black jeans. Finally, at 10:30, he sent a text message. “Hey, I’m at Pub & Kitchen, want to meet up for a drink or whatever?” he wrote, before adding, “I’m here with a bunch of friends from college.”
Turned off, she fired back a text message, politely declining. But in retrospect, she might have adjusted her expectations. “The word ‘date’ should almost be stricken from the dictionary,” Ms. Silver said. “Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.”
Read more
“At 10 p.m., I hadn’t heard from him,” said Ms. Silver, 30, who wore her favorite skinny black jeans. Finally, at 10:30, he sent a text message. “Hey, I’m at Pub & Kitchen, want to meet up for a drink or whatever?” he wrote, before adding, “I’m here with a bunch of friends from college.”
Turned off, she fired back a text message, politely declining. But in retrospect, she might have adjusted her expectations. “The word ‘date’ should almost be stricken from the dictionary,” Ms. Silver said. “Dating culture has evolved to a cycle of text messages, each one requiring the code-breaking skills of a cold war spy to interpret.”
Read more
Saturday, January 05, 2013
Sexless Marriage: When Sex Ends at 'I Do'
How do you define a sexless marriage? Are you living in one, or do you think you are?
In 2003, Newsweek noted that 15% to 20% of couples have sex less than 10 times a year, which is defined as a "sexless" marriage. I recently read that an estimated 15% of marriages become sexless, and making love less than 10 times per year can be the norm for some couples.
I have to wonder though, is it really the "norm" for couples or is one spouse limiting intimate interaction due to their own lack of interest in sex or for some other reason? When one spouse conforms to the sexual standards of the other spouse and the marriage becomes sexless, can it still be called a marriage?
In most situations, the sexual satisfaction in marriage is a measure of the entire relationship. If a once satisfying sex life becomes one in which sex is infrequent or absent, then more than likely there are other aspects of the relationship that a spouse is finding unsatisfying.
Read the rest
In 2003, Newsweek noted that 15% to 20% of couples have sex less than 10 times a year, which is defined as a "sexless" marriage. I recently read that an estimated 15% of marriages become sexless, and making love less than 10 times per year can be the norm for some couples.
I have to wonder though, is it really the "norm" for couples or is one spouse limiting intimate interaction due to their own lack of interest in sex or for some other reason? When one spouse conforms to the sexual standards of the other spouse and the marriage becomes sexless, can it still be called a marriage?
In most situations, the sexual satisfaction in marriage is a measure of the entire relationship. If a once satisfying sex life becomes one in which sex is infrequent or absent, then more than likely there are other aspects of the relationship that a spouse is finding unsatisfying.
Read the rest
Monday, December 24, 2012
Is Bad Sex a Good Enough Reason to Divorce?
Over time, I came to understand that in divorcing Doug, Bethany did something incredibly brave. She took all the hits for breaking up her family, from her parents, her siblings, her children and her friends, myself included, in order to seek a fuller, more integrated life.
In the midst of the divorce, when Bethany had lost 20 pounds and couldn't sleep and doubted herself, she clung to one simple truth, "I can't live the rest of my life without passion."
A passionless life. Not just sexless, but passionless. We all need to have a passion. Whether it's passion for our partner or spouse, our work, our children, our hobbies. The lack of sex in Bethany's marriage had eroded the passion of her spirit. She was living a rote, predictable, stagnant life.
Read more
In the midst of the divorce, when Bethany had lost 20 pounds and couldn't sleep and doubted herself, she clung to one simple truth, "I can't live the rest of my life without passion."
A passionless life. Not just sexless, but passionless. We all need to have a passion. Whether it's passion for our partner or spouse, our work, our children, our hobbies. The lack of sex in Bethany's marriage had eroded the passion of her spirit. She was living a rote, predictable, stagnant life.
Read more
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